Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Monday, 14 March 2011

image for Celebrity Apprentice: Donald Trump Fires Lisa Rinna After Star Jones and Dionne Warwick Gang Up On Her A close up of Donald Trump's hair. (Photo courtesy of Rosie O'Donnell).

NEW YORK CITY - The latest edition of Donald Trump's Celebrity Apprentice was not pretty.

In fact, Lisa Rinna who had been chosen the project manager for the women's team known as ASAP got tossed under the bus, the dump truck, and the battleship by two back-stabbing team members Star "I Am The Star" Jones and Dionne "I'm One Grouchy Old Ex-Singing Star" Warwick.

And the sad thing is that none of the other team members bothered to come to Rinna's aid. La Toya Jackson, who is about as useful as ocean algae, appears to be lost in a haze.

She walks around with enough makeup to buy a Shetland pony and acts as if she is expecting someone to offer her a movie part or something.

La Toya is definitely the black version of Paris "The Airhead" Hilton who is lucky she isn't sitting in some California state prison making vehicular license plates.

And Hope Dworaczyk [pronounced: DE-La-WARE] has probably not said a total of 15 words in the first two shows. But Hope who was chosen The 2010 Playmate of The Year doesn't really have to talk as Donald Trump, Jr., remarked off-the-record to Bedroom Pillow Talk.

Nikki Taylor, an international model also has probably not uttered more than 13 or so words during the first two shows. I guess that Hope and Nikki figure that if they don't say anything no one will ask them something that they won't be able to answer and thus will continue to be great looking women, instead of great looking women who are lacking in the brain department like Paris of the house of Hilton.

The week's project consisted of both teams; ASAP and Backbone writing a children's book. The guys did good considering that during their presentation to some 4 and 5-year-olds Gary "With The Hair From Hell" Busey scarred the wits out of six of the kids and two of the moms.

The women did not do as good, probably due to the fact that Star Jones and Dionne Warwick spent most of the time undermining everything that team leader Lisa Rinna said.

During one particularly ridiculous scene Rinna said she was going to order pizza for the entire team but the "Diva Duo" of Jones and Warwick said that they did not want pizza and demanded that they get barbecued ribs.

Rinna said that they would compromise and ended up getting tacos from a local Tacos, Tacos, and Mucho More Tacos.

La Toya said that she was allergic to Mariachi music. Marlee Matlin who is deaf signed that La Toya needs to stop acting like a third rate prima Madonna and get with the friggin program.

When it came time for the board room conference and firing scene Donald Trump looked at Lisa Rinna and told her that now that she'd had a lip reduction procedure done she looked a whole lot better and much more beautiful since she no longer had those gigantic looking ridiculous botoxed lips.

Well, the Trumpster did not notice it, but he got some pretty stern looks from Star Jones, Dionne Warwick, La Toya Jackson, and NeNe Leakes all of whom just happen to be ahhh...black.

Trump later stated that he was merely making a personal comment about Lisa Rinna and did not mean to imply that all women with big lips did not look beautiful as well.

Donald gave an example of a girl that he had dated in college who was from Sweden and whose lips were so humongous that she could eat a sandwich, a burrito, and an apple all at the same time.

After going back and forth and having Star Jones and Dionne Warwick stab poor little Lisa in the back about 17 times Donald told them that he had made a decision.

He looked at Lisa, who said that she had never in her life been treated like she was a Sarah Palin pinata. Trump smiled. He remarked that he had to admit that in a fair fight the duo of Jones and Warwick could probably take on a couple of mean, crazy pit bulls and win.

He remarked that he was going to do the right thing and get Lisa out of the damn rattlesnake pit that she had found herself in.

Trump looked at Star and then at Dionne. He shook his head and said, "Lisa, you're fired! And I know that tomorrow morning you are going to call me and thank me."

According to The Right Coast Illustrated Revue, Lisa Rinna did in fact call up Donald Trump and she thanked him for helping her to get away from the two women who she said could even make effen Attila the Hun seem like Attila the Wimp.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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