(New York--NY) Welcome Dear Friends and Respected Enemies and, yes, you too George Bush. We're back. It's Ed-E-torial #6. Or as we like to call it: "Just Ed fuming this time"
(Los Angeles--CA) Walt Disney announced that it struck a licensing agreement to have its animated characters on produce and vegetables. "We're doing it predominantly because it is the right thing to do, but secondarily because it is the right business to be in," Harry Dollman, head of food products licensing for Disney, told CNN. However, Dollman would not comment on the pending licensing agreement between Disney and Oregon medical marijuana grower Sam "No Seeds In My Count" Miller for his new line to be called SpongeBong Square Pants.
(Atlanta--Georgia) After being released for the murder of JonBenet Ramsey because his DNA didn't match that of DNA evidence at the crime scene, John Mark Carr today confessed to the killings of John Lennon, Pope John Paul II, Nicole Simpson and Ron Goldman.When asked for his reaction, O.J. Simpson was shocked exclaiming, "Thailand, it's always the last place you look. I"m glad justice has finally been served."
(Los Angeles--CA) Noted fluff psychologist Drew Pinsky released the results of his latest study. Celebrities tend to be more in love with themselves than a 13-year-old male alone in his room with a laptop, wi-fi card and 15 stolen porn site passwords. To get his data, Pinsky asked 200 celebrity guests from his radio show, Loveline, to take an anonymous Narcissist test. Next month, Pinsky will release yet another ground breaking study that proves Ku Klux Klan members generally tend to be racist .
(New Orleans--LA) Well over a year after hurricane Katrina, Mayor Ray Nagin proved he's still as angry as he is insane. When recently asked by the press why hurricane recovery was taking so long, the mercurial Mayor said it's been five years and New York City still hasn't been able to fill a hole in the ground. A follow-up question to Nagin of how long it will take him to fill the hole in his head was not answered.
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