MALIBU BEACH - Oceanic scientists are extremely baffled as to how in the world hundreds of Louisiana tar balls from last year's Gulf of Mexico Oil Spill are presently washing up on the shore of Malibu Beach.
One resident who, requested anonymity, but who did reveal that he is a new judge on this years American Idol, stated that one minute he was cooking wieners and the next he was looking at the shoreline and watching as seagulls were going crazy screaming after seeing some of the local fish wearing tar balls as hats.
Steven Tyler quickly got up and asked his assistant Missy Sue to call 911. The assistant a gorgeous looking blonde (38-22-26) asked him for the number to 911.
Tyler thought for a moment and then replied, it's 9-1-1.
About ten minutes later two Malibu Beach sheriff's deputies showed up with their guns drawn.
Tyler asked them what in the effen land of La La and Oz was friggin goin' on.
One of the sheriffs' deputies replied that they had received a call about some black dudes causing some kind of disturbance on the beach.
"Black dudes?" Tyler hollered out.
He yelled out to Missy Sue and asked her what she had said on her 911 call.
"Which call?" Missy Sue asked.
Steven asked her what the eff she had said when she had last used the phone last. Missy told him that she had just finished talking to her sister in Pomona and that she told her not to let her new boyfriend get past third base until tells her what his last name is.
Tyler stood up. And hollered out at the top of his lungs. "Dammit, now I know how Paris Hilton's boyfriends must feel."
Steven told the sheriff's deputies that he is sure that his assistant must have said that there were black Louisiana tar balls washing up on the beach.
Everyone started laughing. The officers put their guns away. Just then Charlie Sheen happened to be walking by with one of his two goddesses, "Hey what's up dudes?" he asked.
When Tyler told him about the black Louisiana tar balls washing up on the shoreline, Charlie "The Work of Art" Sheen bent down, picked up one of the tar balls and smelled it.
He then replied, "Yep, just as I thought, these little mother effers were put here by the creator, writer, and producer of my ex-number one hit sit-com Two and A Half Men, Chuck "The Duck" Lorre, or as I prefer to call him "The Yiddish Version of Glenn 'Crybaby' Beck."
The officers quickly left. Steven Tyler remarked that he had to go inside to get ready to head out to his new show.
"And what show is that?" Sheen asked.
"American Idol," came the reply.
"Sorry, never heard of it bro."
Martin Sheen, Charlie Sheen's father recently told Tittle Tattle Tonight that he has to find a way to get his son committed. The elder Sheen said that Charlie is starting to act like the male version of Lindsay Lohan except with shorter hair, a wider vocabulary of curse words, and a diddly dipper.