Written by Gail Farrelly
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Wednesday, 9 March 2011

image for NASA to Sell Retired Space Shuttles; Who Will Buy Them? Down-to-earth plans for space shuttles.

Maybe you thought that the soon-to-be-retired space shuttles would be going to museums. Think again!

To raise revenue for the Space program, NASA plans on selling them to the highest bidders. Speculation is already rampant about possible buyers. Here are just a few:

-- Singer Harry Connick, Jr. He'd like to have a space shuttle on which to perform a rendition of "Fly Me to the Moon," with unique audio and visual effects.

-- Lady Gaga. She's been heard to say, "People think I'm spacey, so this sounds just right for me." A space shuttle is her vehicle of choice for the 2012 Grammy Awards show. "Arriving in an egg in 2011 was fine," she said, "but that's SO yesterday."

-- The Man in the Moon. He's tired of eating green cheese for thousands and thousands of years and has been quoted as saying, "I'd like to have my own transportation, so I can jet out every once in a while and buy myself some really great takeout from many different planets. Variety is the spice of life."

-- TV personality Bill O'Reilly. He plans to round up a pack of far-left loons and entice them into the space shuttle by offering them unlimited amounts of Kool-Aid. He'd then blast them out of the earth's atmosphere. "Good riddance," O'Reilly has proclaimed about the results of his plan.

But maybe it's entrepreneur Donald Trump who has the best idea of all. He'd like to buy a space shuttle and carve it into studio apartments and offices. Then he'd sell them as condos. Very expensive condos. "The profit would be out of this world," Trump remarked, as stars -- and dollar signs -- danced in his eyes.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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