Written by Inhopeless
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Sunday, 6 March 2011

LONDON - After Inhopeless decided to let his right-wing cousins Bob run Inhopeless Media Group for a day, he has found some... interesting news.

According to research done by Bob, SI units could be the number one killer of middle-class families.

Although the true middle-class is nothing like Bob says, here is what he says.

The middle-classes, who are mostly educated, distrust the metric system due to the harm in causes.

For example, John Smith was killed in a car crash last year when he mistook the speedometer's mph readings for km/h readings causing him to speed up to 200mph, instead of 200km/h (125mph).

Also, Sarah Whitingston was killed after she mistook the imperial measurements of her university friend as metric, causing her to make a 50m-long kite, instead of a 50ft-long (15m) long kite.

This reporter, me Bob, thinks that the metric system is just Brussels trying to murder our hard-working families.

For Inhopeless Media Group, this is Bob, Inhopeless's cousin.

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In no way does Bob represent the views of IMG. If they did, we would have killed ourselves long ago.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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