Written by Skoob1999
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Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Local Man Pranked By Wife Over Avatar Movie Pirate DVD Didn't Work...

Local man, Martin Shuttlecock was viciously pranked by long suffering wife, Anne on Saturday night in their Hampshire home.

The Shuttlecocks had been relaxing together, spending quality time by him writing a satirical internet satire article about sock kebabs, under an alias, whilst Anne watched the James Cameron blockbuster epic 'Avatar' in HD with surroundsound.

During an idle moment, having contracted cramp of the index finger whilst composing his magnum opus about sock kebabs, Shuttlecock felt sufficiently intrigued to ask Anne how it all turns out, having only ever seen the film on a crap pirated DVD which froze five minutes before the end.

Anne explained:

"You see them dinosaurs what them Nav'is is flying about on?"

"Yes. I see them," Shuttlecock replied.

"Well," Anne continued. "Them flies over them helicopter gunships and craps down in their engines. Brings 'em all down, they does. With poo."

"Really? Is that how they do it?" an amazed, slack-jawed Shuttlecock asked.

"Course not you silly sod!" Anne guffawed. Like a horse. But louder.

Shuttlecock (Martin) stated later that he's seriously considering filing for divorce, on the grounds that she's always taking the piss, but probably won't because she looks after him too well.

"I do the cooking, the washing, the cleaning, pays all the bills, gets all the stuff from eBay while he sits on his lazy arse typing out rubbish... and he's gonna divorce ME?" Anne laughed. (Fit to burst, it must be said)

"Maybe not dear, I was just sayin'" Shuttlecock told his long suffering wife.

This isn't the first time that the Shuttlecocks have hit the headlines, a story about a dead gazebo in their back garden last year made the international news, and apparently the dead gazebo is still there with its legs up in the air. Testament to Shuttlecock's devotion to duty. Or not.

"The worst thing of it is," Shuttlecock told reporters. "When I finally did see the end of the film, it was a right fucking cop out. If I'd been directing that, I'd have had the Na'vi slaughtered, the prospectors taking over, and a closing shot of a dead planet. Maybe that's why I don't work in Hollywood."

"He doesn't work in Hollywood because he's as thick as two short planks," Anne Shuttlecock was heard whispering to a reporter.

More as we get it.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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