Written by Mr Goster
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Saturday, 5 March 2011

image for Liam Keeps Beady Eye On Album Sales A Couple With Beady Eyes

Shy and retiring Ex-Oasis singer Liam Gallagher told fans to be patient this week as his new band 'Beady Eye' released their debut album 'Different Gear,Still Speeding' this week.

'The Music Press made a big deal of our first single bombing but what the F**k Do They Know?' said Liam. ' They're a set of W*****s the F*****g lot of 'em. The B*****d B***bags haven't got a clue. I'm the best F*****g thing since sliced bread, always have been, and My Band is the absolute B***ocks. Way better than Oasis ever were. Our Kid's a T***er too. And you can quote me on that! Noel, you're a T***er.

All the best, Liam!

He's just jealous really. We're having a great time just churning out banging tunes that'll Live Forever. They're Supersonic and we're gonna Roll With It and have a F*****g blast. We're moving on man, breaking new ground.

The first person to ask me if we're influenced by The Beatles will get this F*****g microphone stand up his A**e. Infact if I'd been around when they formed, they'd have been begging me to join them!

That's how F*****g cool I am.

We're that B***ard Brilliant we'll Blow all These other Bands away.

We'll S**t Glastonbury up with how F*****g good we are, and NO, our kid won't be makin' no F*****g Guest Bl**ding Appearance. Not on my watch Soldier. No F*****g way.

Our fans will buy the Album in boatloads you just F*****g watch. Keep Your F*****g Beady F*****g Eye on Beady F*****g Eye!

Anyway, thanks for the interview man, it's most appreciated. Gotta go now, I'm picking the kids up and meeting the wife at Sainsbury's.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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