In an effort to attract younger readers to The Spoof, one writer has come up with the idea of writing especially for the kiddies.
The following is her first attempt and, hopefully, not her last.
Eensy Weensy Spider Gets Stuck in the Water Spout
A near tradegy struck the Spider family this afternoon when Eensy Weensy Spider did not return home at the designated time.
His mom of "Won't you come into my parlour? said the Spider to the fly", fame said to our reporter,
"When Eensy didn't return home from his spout climbing to watch his favourite movie with me 'Spiderman', I became distraught.
I called his father 'Daddy Longlegs' on his 'silly phone' and he, in turn called the emergency rescue crew.
Luckily Eensy always give us the name of whose spout he will be climbing up, everytime he goes out...so we sent the rescue crew to 'The House That Jack Built.
Sure enough, the rescue crew could hear Eensy's plaintive cries close to the top of the spout.
They used the jaws of life to safely remove Eensy from the spout, however, the expressions of shock on their faces when they saw Eensy, spoke for themselves.
You see, Eensy Weensy is more like Obesee Obesee Spider now. That is the reason he became stuck in the spout in the first place."
His mom continued,
"His dad and I have spoken to him on many occasions about the garbage he was eating and the possible consequences should he continue with this diet. Would he listen to us? No way!
Maybe now he will be embarrassed enough to do something about his eating habits."
Eensy's grandfather arrived on the scene - grandfather known to many of us as 'the spider who frightened Miss Muffet away'.
"I wouldn't count on Eensy taking notice of any advice WE try to give him and so I have taken drastic action.
I have written to Dr. Phil and he has agreed to have the family on his t.v. show and promised to do everything in his power to get Eensy some help.
This may mean a stay at one of the wonderful Spider Rehabilitation Treatment Centres in Texas. We are praying that Eensy will agree to attend the Centre and get himself back on the right track.
If Eensy puts on MORE weight, he will be too big to even go on the World Wide Web."
*********************************************************** More news on Eensy as we get it.
Edit: It is rumoured that Eensy Weensy is not interested in losting any weight and will just go out in search of larger diameter water spouts. Time will tell. Maybe someone will accidentally step on him and that'll be the end of the story.