Written by Baz Magnum
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Tags: Emu, Rod Hull

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

You may remember in the 70's and 80's of a double act consisting of a man with long hair with his hand up a bird's arse.

No we aren't talking about pornography here; we of course mean Rod hull and his infamous emu called err..., emu. Rod however

Has unfortunately long gone, but what about his sidekick? well we tracked him down at the "Orville retirement home for stuffed birds".

Before that however I'm afraid his life wasn't so pleasant, he explains. "When Rod died I had nobody left and I found that everywhere

I went drugs where being offered on a plate to me whether it be crack, heroine, or night nurse, I couldn't say no". With this temptation

And lure of beautiful pigeons in London, Emus life spiralled out of control. "I, Orville and Nookie bear often went out on the town scoring crack cocaine

And waking up in hotel rooms with bits of each others anatomy in our mouths. It was horrid looking back but now I have found salvation thanks to this care home".

So there you have it one of celeb lands victims now one of the many ex-stars being looked after by society, not so different from you and I really,

Although he does have to spend his entire life shitting in a bag connected to his hip. Emu will be back on our screens soon playing one of franks ex

Girlfriends in shameless.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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