Today's News With Rush Limbo
Newt Gingrich has announced that he has created an exploratory committee for a possible run for the Presidency in 2012. "The first thing I want to do is to determine is if my ass looks too big", he stated yesterday.
Newt and his ass will be here live with us on Thursday. Be sure to have them bring in the other Big Chair, Turdley.
According to Barack Obama's mother-in-law, the President is now comparing his health care bill with a big kidney stone. "He says that he doesn't know if he can ever pass the thing", she told a member of the White House staff. Probably Joe Biden's foot-in-mouth since he's been quiet for awhile.
A WalMart greeter has been arrested for smoking Marijuana in Lexington, Kentucky. People coming in were being told to 'have a good day and come back soon, Bibbitty boppitty Boo!!"
Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah has announced that he is giving his people $40 billion. Not that he's worried about being overthrown or anything. He says that he simply forgot all about Christmas this past year.
I noticed that the Dems are still calling me fat. Shows they haven't noticed me in months. I gain weight easily. As the comedian stated, I'm a light eater. Whenever it's light enough to see food, I eat it. That's a pretty good one. I'll fix his (beeeep) later on in the show.
The Tunisian Prime Minister has now resigned. He stated that he was wanting to spend more time with his money in an unidentified country.
In a new report, drinking diet soda is associated with a 50-percent increase in stroke risk, according to a study presented earlier this month at the American Stroke Association's International Stroke Conference in Los Angeles. Also, it has been backed up by the National Sugar Association.
Charles Manson has been caught with a cell phone behind bars for the third time now. Once again the warden became suspicious after Manson lost his latest bid for freedom. He told the Judge that HE was the real criminal..."'but LOL anyway."
We have twelve more hours of live broadcasting coming up. So stay tuned. We'll be back after these commercials...."