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Tags: panic

Thursday, 24 February 2011

image for Time to panic! Director of the West Patagonian Institute

"A study by the National Institutes of Health in the US suggests that mobile phones could have an effect on the brain.They reported higher sugar use in the brain, a sign of increased activity, after 50 minutes on the phone.The research published in the Journal of the American Medical Association said the clinical significance was unknown." (BBC News 24/2/2011)

Meanwhile, RISP (Research Into Stupid People) announced that the length of time people spend on single mobile phone calls is inversely proportional to their level of intelligence. They claim that level of increased activity shown in the NIH study brought them up to just below the "IDIOT" level.

A study released yesterday by BIROM (Blindness Is the Result Of Mobiles) is claimed to prove conclusively that mobile phones affect the sight centres of the brain. The study, conducted at the West Patagonian Institute of Scientific sort of Stuff, involved 24 subjects and a equal control group. The test subjects had mobile phones strapped over their eyes for 24 hours, and during this time it was evident that total blindness resulted. The control group was unaffected. The subjects' sight soon returned to normal when the phones were removed, but long-term effects are unknown.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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