Today's News With Rush Limbo:
"Good morning all you "Peckerheads who follow the show daily, and to everyone else including you liberal note-takers from PMSNBC!
In his new book just out, Donald Rumsfield said that the failure to find weapons of mass destruction after two years in Iraq badly damaged the Bush administration's credibility, especially that of his own. The new book is entitled "Oh Boy, Did We Ever Screw Up Bigtime!"
The President of Yemen says he still refuses to leave as the crowds of protesters grow. The statement was made while he was riding on a rail and dressed in thick crude oil and feathers.
Rahm Emmanuel is now the new King of Chicago. Already there are protesters gathering all over the town. The big question now? Will Oprah intervene?
Turdley, are those protesters of our show still coming out daily in New York? They are? I keep telling them that I'm broadcasting from Florida but they keep coming to my old studio in New York. That's how much they listen to the show that they are protesting, because of what they have heard what I have supposedly said.
Back to the news.
Betty White has once again refused to host this year's Oscar Awards Show. She told reporters yesterday that she doesn't know if she'll still be here...plus the fact that she is tired of George Clooney pinching her on the ass.
Singer Justin Bieber says that he doesn't care what his fans say about his new haircut. He says that it makes him look more adult. Then he got up from the floor from where he had threw his screaming fit.
Steve Langton has walked out on the U.S. bobsledding team. He told his fans that he's 99% sure that the guy sitting behind him is gay.
In other sports news, Tiger Woods has a new caddy. He claims that he drove the last one into another tree after blowing that tournament in Dubai two weeks ago.
We'll take your questions right after this commercial break...."