Today's News With Rush Limbo:
"Welcome to everyone, especially my loyal "Peckerheads".
Apparently the law is changing in Texas so that any or every student can carry a gun to school. So if you want an honor student, send them to Texas where the teachers will never fail them...and live to tell about it. Also, in Abilene the principal has ordered a special meeting on the subject with opponents this Saturday, at High Noon!
In Arvada, Colorado, police have arrested an eleven year old that had drawn an "Inappropriate stick figure drawing" which they believe to be a nude model, even though the boy keeps claiming that it's a preying mantis he saw in the garden last summer.
Larry King to tour doing a one-man show. He says that he will immediately begin the tour just as soon as he finds the right man.
Hey, Turdley, you want to audition for that? He says King's too tight to die because of the funeral costs.
President Barack Obama had his second annual medical checkup as President of the United States and the doctors say he is doing well, especially after giving up smoking. In fact, the medical team says that the President is in much better shape than the country.
So is Larry King for that matter.
We'll be right back after this commercial break..."