Written by grimbo
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Saturday, 19 February 2011

image for Scotland 3011 A.D

What would an archaeologist in a thousand years time find if he excavated in the Glasgow area ?

"One of the most interesting discoveries during my lifelong project of excavating sporting venues in the Western European Continental Peninsula occurred when I had to journey into the northwest of the landmass where a large metropolitan colony once existed.

While there were more than a few sites to explore, one in particular caught my eye , not least because the edifice seemed to boast inordinate wealth although the residential and commercial establishments in the immediate environs indicated the contrary.

Although the structure was of monumental size and grandeur - 3 oval tiers of seating supported by peripheral entablatures - there is a considerable body of evidence that the denizens (who either attended the sporting occasions or could only gaze at the events from outwith) were of inconsequential means.

A number of leather based footwears have been unearthed that suggest that the wearers did not boast inordinate wealth. Not only have none of these artefacts survived in full to this day - despite being entombed in tarpits which are normally the best preservers of ancient relics- but the wearers only appear to have had one leather covering ...despite most of them seeming to have had 2 pedal appendages.

To further strengthen this impression of grinding poverty, I also came upon a worrying find when I investigated the food preparation areas in some of the better preserved residential establishments. I found to my horror that the only foodstuff that seemed to be in great supply was a starchy, carbo hydrate based edible tuber.

A shocking impression to gain of a so called well developed, civilised culture".

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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