"And you, Mr. Alberto Fisher are a real Vampire?"
"Yesss, pardon the hisss but the teeth you know."
"How do you know that you are a vampire? I see your reflection in the camera lens."
"An old Wifesssss tail, I asssssure you. My thong is riding up."
"Yesss, I love to wear a thong. Feelssss good all under asssss the commercial usssed to sssay."
"Do you drink blood?"
"Actually, sometimessss I wear only a jockey ssstrap. That can be comfy too."
"Do you bite people?"
"Boxer sssshorts. They will do but not like a thong. They made your ballsss sssnug."
"Is that the sun coming up?"
"No, that is from all the talk about wearing a thong or going au natural. Everything ssstill worksss. Even after 210 yearssss. No Viagra. On my word.
"But doesn't the sunsss...now I'm doing it..the sun coming up kill you? I said...never mind. Looksss like I'm interviewing a thong. Also...he left his balls. He'll be back tonight I imagine"
"This iss SSSSSarah Palin (sssssshit) for the Fox Newsss!"