Written by Lady Godiva
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Friday, 11 February 2011

image for Lady Godiva meets with Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough, to discuss the upcoming Royal Wedding Mmmm! Yummy! Can't beat this.

Lady Godiva visited Middlesbrough last week to meet with two of her favourite lasses in the world, Takwana Smith and Anitakapita Jones, both of Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough. Both 'sporting' South Bank facelift hairdos. As usual, they met in their favourite restaurant in Morrison's, Berwick Hills Branch.

Lady G. ordered the meals. Takwana just wanted Fish,chips and mushy peas...Anitakapita fancied the Chicken Masala and Lady G. ordered the Chicken Korma, knowing quite well that the Asian meals came from the 'frozen food' section of the store and were merely stuck in the microwave oven. Still, they are 'tasty'.

The subject of the conversation was Wills and Kate's upcoming wedding and the opinions of the 'girls'.

"Well," started Takwana, "Arm ded chuffed for 'em an I wish 'em well. See...me and our lad never did ge' married. Well coz we couldn't afford to get married with a 'sprog' on the way. Oops sorry L.G. A 'sprog' means a baby. "

Lady Godiva commented,

"Takwana, I have a confession to make. I was actually born here in Middlesbrough "

"Oh! A didn' know tha'. So you're one of us then. Great innit like? Anyway, no point me an' our lad ge'in' married now coz A ge' all me benifi's, free 'ouse, furniture an' all tha'. A've even go' a three bedroom' 'ouse an A know tha' there are families out there still on the list, bu' tha's not ma problem innit? Mind if the council knew me an' our lad were livin' together, me benifi's would be cu'.

So, our lad gives 'is mam's address as 'is address when 'e signs on fer the dole like.

Bu' ge'in' back te the royal weddin' like....A think it's ded gud coz tha' prince is ge'in married to a commoner in'e?
Just like marryin' one of US

Tha's ded gud tha' is innit like?"

Anitakapita was asked for her opinion on the 'upcoming nuptuals'.

"Well A don't know wo' nuptual thingies are. D'youse mean the weddin' like? Oh. OK Well A think the same as me frend Takwana. Can' really add to that like bu' A would like t'say...if ever Aaa ge' married to our lad...A'd luv to 'ave a dress like Kate's tho' A don' know wha' it'll be like ye' do A?

A am gonna take a video of the weddin' like, so's A can copy the dress f'wen A get married.

Lady G. spent the afternoon with the two lasses from Cargo Fleet, Middlesbrough. They went shopping at Primark and Ma'alans. Lady G. picked out a couple of new outfits for herself and also 'treated' her two 'new' friends to new outfits.

A lovely day was had by all.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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