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Friday, 11 February 2011

image for Naomi Campbell Autobiography Out Soon

Supermodel Naomi Campbell is hoping to put a bad 12 months behind her with the publication of her first autobiography entitled "Nothing To Do With Me".

An advance extract tells all about her recent brush with the long arm of the law and reveals that she really hasn't learned anything after her alleged involvement with ex Liberian leader Charles Taylor.

"OMG !!! You'll never believe what happened to poor little old me last week.

There I was minding my own biz, just getting my ears waxed by my faithful old retainer Whatsername when in burst two of New Yawk's finest and hauled my butt down to the local precinct.

After two days in a cramped cell (although, to be fair, I could have squeezed through the bars if I hadn't been enjoying the 3 square meals a day so much) I was whisked into court and charged with handling counterfeit money.

Here's what I told the D.A......"

'3 weeks ago I accepted a perfectly harmless invitation to appear at a fashion shoot at an intimate little venue in Little Italy called "Bada Bung". All I had to do was wiggle my touche up and down the cat walk in front of the guests . For this 30 minute gig I received the usual fee of $250,000.

OK, so the 1000 dollar bills might have felt a bit damp and some of the print got smudged in my purse, but how was I to know anything was awry ? And so what if all the Latino male guests were blinged up to the eyeballs, smoked cigars and sat facing the front door ?

How was I supposed to know they were mobbed up ?"

Fortunately the D.A. believed me, although I didn't much like it when he referred to me as a "dumb broad" - I've never been anything larger than a Size Zero.

Anyways, I just had to tell you about my harrowing experience.

But while I remember, I just have to tell you about the ladies loo they have in the courthouse. Its absolutely massive.

As I said at the time - "This was a big convenience for me.

TTFN'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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