Written by j.w.
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Tags: Theft

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

image for New Image for Robbers The Scene of the Crime

Gregory Hess entered a petrol station bought a cup of coffee in Seattle. After drinking it he went to the counter and politely asked:

'Could you empty the till please'

After some delaying tactics, the station owner John Henry (grandson the famous American folklore hero) opened the till and gave Hess $300.

'Thank you. I'm sorry about this but I'll pay you back.'

With a friendly smile Hess - grandson of German poet Herrmann Hess - left the premises.

It was whilst he was reading poetry a couple of days later that the Police knocked on his door.

'We realise you are the grandson of a famous man who has faltered in his life because you couldn't match his great abilities' advised the police officer John Steinbeck (himself a grandson of a famous American writer of the same name). I know just how you feel. But you can't just take money from petrol stations.'

'Of course. I did say I was sorry about that.'

When Hess had been arrested he wrote to John Henry. 'You must try and forgive me. I will get your loan returned as soon as possible, I hope you are OK.'

At his trial the Judge, Barry Roosevelt (grandson of the brilliant American President) commented after giving a sentence of one week's detention: 'You have set a new standard Hess. It is a pleasure to meet such a polite robber. You have set a fine example for other robbers to follow. From now on Hermann Hess, John Steinbeck, John Henry and President Roosevelt will be united in displaying a new brand of misappropriation to the world.'

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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