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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

image for The Pope Has Mixed Blessings on New Confessional IPhone App

Pope Benedict XVI has been given a new iPhone to try after he encouraged the worldwide Roman Catholic Church to make use of the new media available. That was last year's speech and now it has become a reality, he may have to eat his words.

The pontiff gave a mixed reaction on the use of the iPhone. He told In Seine News: "it has ze ups and ze downs! - First of all, it is useful in encouraging ze people to get into ze habit of taking part in ze sacraments. Zat has got to be ze good thing Yah?

Ze bad thing is; how does it know vott degree of penance it should meet out? Vether it is stealing ze bar of chocolate from ze shop or murdering your grandmother, ze penalty is the same - it's 10 Hail Mary's.

I know because I tried it! First of all I type zis in: forgive me father, for I have been telling lies - 10 Hail Mary's.

Zen I type in: forgive me father, for I pulled ze girls pigtail at ze school - 10 Hail Mary's.

Zen I tried zis: forgive me father, for I have lusted after ze Lady Gaga - 10 Hail Mary's.

Or vott about zis?

Forgive me father I vos a member of ze Hitler Youth - 10 Hail Mary's!

It seems 10 Hail Mary's vill forgive anything!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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