Written by dutch
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

image for Julian Assange Has Been Named "Geek of the Year" by French newspaper Le Monde Assange is

Whistleblower Julian Assange bears an uncanny resemblence to the gay shop assistant on "Are You Being Served." He has a wispy, almost albino appearance. The blond geek bears a strong resemblance to the snidey blond boy in Harry Potter, who is his worst enemy at Hogwarts.

By looking at this man's wispy slightly camp appearance it is hard to see how he could have been able to 'rape' two robust Swedish lasses.

The 'bra burner' feminist judge is determined to 'get' Assange for some transgression. If they manage to nobble him; he could fall into the hands of Hilary Clinton and be extradited to the U S of A. It the Yanks get hold of Assange he could be executed or "waterboarded" or be imprisoned for life.

The Wiki-Leaks Whistleblower boy wizard is only guilty of releasing embarrassing tit-bits about America and he has embarrassed Uncle Sam and will have to pay the price for blowing the gaff on its diplomatic staff.

Hilary Clinton is livid that he blew the gag on Bill and hottie Monica in the Oval Office. Assange has also blown the gaff on Oprah Winfrey's secret love life; and has also embarrassed Obama by revealing that he is really only a little teeny bit black and is fact a bit of a "coconut". It is Assange's fault that Christina Aguilera forgot the words to the Star Spangled Banner; he had beguiled her. Assange also put a hex upon Simon Cowell and helped him to bamboozle all the American X-Factor television production team into liking Cheryl and choosing her to be a judge.

Assange is a geeky looking blond Australian computer hacker. He is like a limp looking albino Harry Potter. It is difficult to see what all the hoo-ha is about. The Obama administration like him as little as BP and David Cameron can not be bothered to intervene.

If Assange is extradited to Sweden his posh friends like Jemima Khan will be unable to protect him. The boy wonder has been staying in a palatial mansion since the beginning of December and has not been suffering too much whilst being detained in the UK.

It makes you wonder what other deep, dark secrets Wikileaks has up its sleeve. Perhaps it knows what Obama is going to be doing to boost his flagging popularity.

When will Wikileaks release damaging information about the Royal family? On the day before the big wedding of course. They will reveal that Prince William really has a hair transplant and Waity Katie is really an airbrushed hologram.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Stop - Warning

The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature.

This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

To confirm you have acknowledged this warning, and wish to continue to read the article, please click the following link.



Otherwise, please click here to go back to the home page.


Share/Bookmark

43 readers are online right now!

Go to top