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Wednesday, 9 February 2011

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The protests in Egypt have created a great deal of international attention, and almost certainly will result in the ousting of President Mubarak. Let's take a look at some other famous revolutions in history.

Circa 10,000 B.C.: The Agricultural Revolution introduces the domestication of plants and animals, paving the groundwork for human civilization. Viewed in a negative light by most non-human academic sources.

1688: The Glorious Revolution: the Dutch invade England, overthrow the king, and install a new ruler. English too distracted by shiny new bill of rights to notice.

1776: After lying dormant for almost two thousand years, democracy is resurrected in the exact same form as it was last seen: exclusive to property-owning white men.

1789: The French people topple the Ancien Régime and replace it with…another monarch. Who then launched a series of wars that ruined the country. And they were still ruled by monarchs for decades afterward. OK, shitty example, I guess.

18th-19th Century: The Industrial Revolution gives young children the right to die in the coal mine of their choosing.

1917: The Bolsheviks overthrow the Romanov dynasty, mainly to show them how totalitarianism and genocide are properly done.

1968: John Lennon tells fans they can "count [him] out" if they plan to change society through violence. Lennon has no objection to changing the Beatles through violence, however, and later breaks George Harrison's nose.

1981: The Reagan Revolution frees the upper class and corporate interests from the shackles of only mildly obscene wealth.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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