Written by K.C. Bell
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Sunday, 6 February 2011

image for Mubarak's Departure From Egypt - With Carry On

Near mid-night, a barrel-chested man with a receding widow's peak, was seen to be lugging three steamer trunks (on wheels) across the jammed pack terminal of Cairo International Airport and coming to a stop at the first class counter of Swiss Air. Camped out travelers waiting for announcements of their departing planes, noted the similarity to the current President of Egypt, but shrugged away the possibility.

Presenting his passport, the ticket agent did a double take and questioned the name on the passport. "You, sir, are Sean Connery?"

The widow's peak nodded, adding, "I can also be Robert Redford."

While the ticket agent easily made a first class reservation to Z├╝rich, Switzerland, Mr. Connery's credit cards were each simultaneously rejected; even the Mubarak Gold card. Advised that Swiss Air would not accept a personal check, and that only cash would work at this particular point in time, Mr. Connery's eyes slowly drifted to the three streamer trunks strapped and padlocked, waiting their turn to be weighed.

"Only cash?"

He pulled out a ring of keys, went about unlocking the locks and straps of the first trunk, swung the trunk open, removed a drawer and took two ten thousand dollar bills, slamming both pieces of currency on the ticket agents desk. Transaction accomplished.

Carefully locking the steamer trunk, the ticket agent inquired how many pieces of luggage (steamer trunks) he would like to check. Mr. Connery insisted that the steamer trunks were his carry-on bags and that they would have to travel with him; adding that under no circumstances would he allow the bags, (steamer trunks) to travel alone in the hole of the plane. Lastly, as an afterthought, he added that the trunks carried his medications.

Since there was no room for his particular kind of carry on in the passenger compartment of the plane, the only other alternative was to travel with the trunks in the baggage compartment of the plane.

Last seen, Mr. Connery was sitting atop the three steamer trunks, bouncing along on the luggage wagon to the baggage compartment of the waiting Swiss Air 747.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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