Written by Jeff Brone
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Tags: Politics

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Republicans: Evil. You can buy their souls on ebay. They eat lots of bacon.

Democrats: Sanctimonious and incompetent. They like to brag about admitting their mistakes. Open to all ideas similar to their own.

Tea Partiers: Like to wear dumb clothes. They use the tea bags they wear, then wear them again. They fight over who looks best in a three cornered hat.

Independents: Secretly dislike everyone. Proud of the fact that they can't make up their minds.

Libertarians (that's me): Weird loners. They practice arguing in the mirror. Receive all their mail at a PO Box.

Green Party: Still supporting Nader. They put bird poop and ginger ale in their car's gas tank. Trying to make their own windmills.

Constitution Party: They own muskets. Will always be able to say "Don't blame me, I voted for the Constitution Party." They think Thomas Jefferson was hot.

Socialist Party: They keep talking about moving to Europe. Their tee shirts have pictures of people you don't know. They will be happy to explain who they are.

Communist Party: Would like to live on a big farm and eat other people's oatmeal. Use the word "overthrow" a lot. Totally disconnected from reality on all levels.


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