Written by IN SEINE
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Saturday, 5 February 2011

image for The Flatulent Muslim A useful tool?

This has never happened to me before, but this day, Friday, 4th February 2011 would be etched in my memory forever and ever. I was amongst the thousands upon thousands (not exactly the one million expected!) Of fellow Muslims in the square in Cairo, for Friday prayers.

We took our shoes off and prostrated ourselves towards Mecca, I had the misfortune to be behind a flatulent worshipper. This was something that I had not experienced before, but believe me, it was unpleasant!

Normally when we pray, we speak to the most merciful Allah, but on this occasion, the smell immediately put my mind completely off him. Whatever they had eaten must've been dead for three weeks and I must admit that it did have the hint of a curried camel!

Was that the person in front of me? I will never know the answer to this because it was an SBD (Silent but deadly as known by aficionados of the fart), but the smell tended to linger around my face for what seemed hours, although prayers usually last around 10 minutes or so.

The brothers either side of me looked at me as if to say that I had done it. All I could do was point the finger at the man in front.

I can now understand why women wear Burqas!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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