Written by plinth course
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Tags: Baby, Bitch, Poison

Tuesday, 24 October 2006

image for That Poison Control Bitch Dissed My Baby Daddy Cadre showin' off, pointin' like Ant went out on up over a hill. Ant hidin' in that trash can. SOOOO cute. Ain't it.

Hey it's me Anise, just wantin' ta warn ya'll and tell ya'll what happen ta me and Cadre th'other day.

It was real bad 'cause like the Poison Control people s'posed ta help you, right? They s'posed ta like be nurses and shit, like helpers and shit, not like get all up in your face, like tellin' you you don't take care of your baby and shit.

You know my baby Antwerp. Yeah, a year and 25 days t'day. Yeah, and real smart. He rolls over in his crib now, always puttin' shit in his mouth. Just like his daddy.

So, so anyways Antwerp, we call him Ant, he thinks it was real cute to get all in my stuff in my purse.

Cadre always get all freaked out over that, sayin' he might get in our stash, but I keep tellin' Cadre I don't keep it there no more 'cause the cops look there first.

We was just sittin' around the trailer watchin' cartoons. Cadre LOVE cartoons. He sees Ant in my purse and Cadre sees he got a pill in his hand. Cadre's thinkin' it was a Lortab 10. He FREAKS OUT 'cause the supply is down right.

I keep tellin' Cadre that it was just a Ibuprofen, but he so freaked he don't listen and he call that number, thinkin' they help. But they jump all in his shit 'bout how many there was and when did he do it and is Ant vomikin' and what our phone number is and shit.

Then Cadre is screaming 'bout none of your business and just tell me if Ant be OK bitch. Shit.

Fuckin' bitch make him so mad, tell her on the phone that he IS pissed off now and he throw'd that fuckin' phone at me.

I start talkin' to the bitch and she give me a ration of shit 'bout how long did Cadre think Ant was alone with my purse and what all I got in there and kaBOOM. I go off on her.

That bitch was inferrin' that Cadre wa'n't takin' care of Ant right.

Slammin' the phone down on that bitch serve her right. Screamin' bitch in like her bitchin' ear make me feel like I'm defendin' Cadre.

We been together since I'm 13. He don't let NOBODY diss me so I defend him when the chance come up.

Besides all Ant did was hold a fuckin' Ibuprofen in his hand. Shit. He be OK. Nothin' in my purse. I keep tellin' Cadre.

Nothin' Cadre care 'bout, anyways.

So, so listen don't take no shit from them HOs at that Poison Control.

If they diss you or your man when you call 'bout somethin' the little asshole cops, just do what I do. Tell 'em to FUCK OFF.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

85 readers are online right now!

Go to top