After much soul searching I have decided to stand for election on the 25th. I was going to do it 2 days earlier but though better of it. I see no other credible solution for Ireland then to go the way of the Weimar Republic. If you vote for me I will buy the rights for it off the Germans as part of the ECB/IMF deal. I have had secret talks over the last month and I have their interest.
The conditions in Ireland at the moment are reminiscent of that great trouble ridden long forgotten republic. They had years of political extremists. We had years of extreme political recklessness and stupidity in the extreme. They had hyperinflation. We had substandard breeze block apartments built in the middle of nowhere at hyper inflated prices. They had hostility from the victors of WW1. We have a gang of jumped up brick layers called developers. They had the Treaty of Versailles, we have NAMA.
A vote for me will make the trains run on time. I also promise I will annex Holyhead by next Christmas. MAKE SURE TO REGISTER TO VOTE. I will be on the campaign trail and will keep you informed of my movements