This is 'Anfieldgrad', filing a NEWS REPORT from the banks of the River Mersey. We, the surrounded loyal defenders of 'Anfieldgrad', issue the following statement from Cmdr Comrade Dalglish;
- "On January 6th Army of Von Hodgson, whilst suffering the fiercest cold Winter, battle fatigue and desertions, was relieved of his command and I took over the leadership here at Anfieldgrad."
"We have bolstered our defensive and offensive options for the rest of this grinding Winter. Carroll and Suarez have been 'commandeered' to join the glorious Anfieldgrad struggle."
"I think great credit must go to the American lend lease financing of the Anfieldgrad efforts, who have really put their stamp down. They promised money would be made available during the Anfieldgrad siege; one or two sceptics doubted that, but they are not doubting now!"
"The American lend lease financing has been as good as a solid gold bar. They have stuck to their word, and they have shown great determination during Anfieldgrad battle. I think the signings of Andy Carroll and Luis Suarez are great reward for the defenders and attackers of the Anfieldgrad siege, who have been fantastic since I Anfieldgrad Siege Commander, three or four weeks ago. All round, it is a fantastic day for Anfieldgrad, and the new signings should be, and will be, very warmly received."
The six long month 'simmering' siege of 'Anfieldgrad' has been a tale of a beleagured 6th Army, with cracks appearing in defence, as a consequence of battle fatigue! The loss of Fernando Torres has been filled quickly and Von Hodgson WALKED ALONE down the M62 ALONE into oblivion, with a few Million Rubles! The high demands of the Red Army of the Kop have been satisfied for now, otherwise 'Anfieldgrad', Liverpool, would have been no more!