Written by Skoob1999
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Sunday, 30 January 2011

image for Letters To The Editor - From Deluded People Here's One We Nearly Opened!

Justin Bieber.

Sir,

Having seen a photograph recently of young Justin Bieber's fringe - I have a theory. Having such a dramatic fringe does the lad no favours; it serves no purpose other than to make him look somewhat ridiculous. I suspect that the fringe is growing unnaturally out of his forehead, and not out of the top of his head, as he'd have us all believe. Does anybody share my suspicion?

Mark Spencer, Ruislip.

Princess Diana v Kate Middleton.

Sir,

I was wondering lately who would win a fist fight between the late People's Princess and the lovely Kate Middleton? My money would be on Middleton, because she seems a lot more sporty than the late People's Princess, and as such is probably the harder puncher. Not that it will ever happen, unless somebody makes an animated cartoon - but who would you put your money on?

Frank Woolworth, Clitheroe.

Boxing Match.

Sir,

The other day, I was given a free ticket to a boxing match by a neighbour, who couldn't go himself because he was working overtime. Imagine my horror, when - expecting something entertaining involving boxes - I witnessed two grown men trying to knock one another's blocks off. If these idiots want to fight, they should join the army and support our brave lads in Afghanistan.

Kit Katz, Bedford.

Egypt Crisis

Sir,

Is it any wonder there's a crisis in Egypt? I blame the Egyptians for it. Lazy lot. They've never moved with the times and seem to revel in living in the past. Their architecture is pathetic, and falling apart. The building they bang on about the most is six thousand years old, serves no practical purpose, and has neither running water nor air conditioning. In my book, that's nothing to shout about. Hardly fucking Norman Foster is it?

Pearl Dean, Virginia Water.

Sky Sports Sexism Controversy

Sir,

The wife and I think the Andy Gray/Richard Keys storm is a complete waste of time, and furthermore has been orchesrated by a bunch of hypocrites. We don't see what the fuss is all about. When we go to our local pub, I frequently comment to the wife that a pretty girl has lovely big tits, a nice arse, lovely long legs, and speculate as to whether the young lady in question looks like she'd be a good shag. The wife tends to speculate about how big men's cocks are, and compares the probable size of their testicles to a range of fruit and vegetables. Some people need to lighten up. It's bloody PC gone mad if you ask me.

Asdo Tesca, Roundhay, Leeds.

Got a beef? Send your letters here! We'll only shred 'em, but it could be therapy for you.

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