Spoof Gazette reporter Dense Inchcock, has revealed that despite fears of ridicule, the Government is to produce a remake of the 1966 Carry on Cowboy film - using politicians as actors. (Which will help aleviate the politicians loss in expense fiddles, and help boost their already gigantic ego, although the pay will be well below their normal expectations)
Original Character: Short Sighted Sheriff Earp
Originally played By: John Pertwee
Politician to play the part: Nick Clegg
Original Character:Johnny Finger - The villainous Rumpo Kid
Originally played By: Sid James
Politician to play the part: David Cameron
Original Character: Josh the greedy Undertaker
Originally played By: Davy Kaye
Politician to play the part: George Osborne
Original Character: Judge Burke - Crooked Mayor who wanted it both ways
Originally played By: Kenneth Williams
Politician to play the part: William Hague
Original Character: Rich old Outlaw rider
Originally played By: Bill Cummings
Politician to play the part: Kenneth Clarke
Original Character: Chief Big Heap - The crooked Indian Chief
Originally played By: Charles Hawtrey
Politician to play the part: Tony Blair
Original Character: The Nasty Trapper
Originally played By: Brian Coburn
Politician to play the part: Gordon Brown
Original Character: Annie Oakley - the gun totting, Indian killing, hard headed lass
Originally played By: Angela Douglas
Politician to play the part: Theresa May
Extras for the production will be imported from the Immigration Advisory Service Stockades.
Naturally the film will be directed by José Manuel Barroso, President of the European Union.
It will be produced by the European Union's General Affairs and External Relations Department.
Specialist consultant on 'Cowboys' for the film will be President Barack Hussein Obama II, and on 'Rustling and animal stealing', Ex-President George Bush.
When asked if they expected the Political actors to have any trouble remembering their lines, Casting Director David Blunkett, said he could see not problems. He added "The scenario involves cheating, stealing, bullying, gambling, being unfaithful and alcoholic excesses, so they should all feel at home in the parts."
The European Investment Bank will be funding the enterprise, with extra cash being available from one of Gordon Browns Swiss Bank Accounts if needed.