Written by Morse
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Friday, 28 January 2011

image for John Peurach Named Spoof Op Ed Writer, Gets Whole Section to Himself! The World According to John Peurach; Coming Soon to The Spoof!

Holy Written Grail, or in other words, verbose, erudite Left Coast Writer John Peurach, was informed today by Spoof.Com editorial spokesman, editor, publisher and payroll supervisor, Sir Marcus Looftoon, that he would be spearheading the brand new Spoof Op Ed section of the daily on line tabloid.

Peurach, who has garnered a spoof cult following in recent months due to his studied and lengthly prose ramblings on the site, didn't seem overly enthralled with the 'promotion.'

The friend of John, the one we could find on Facebook, said Peurach, with acting credits in his background, a former pitchman for a lettuce spinning product featured on TV before the company was forced to limit it's air time to 30 seconds, a roaming Omnibus man who knew the inside workings of democratic political strongholds like Paterson, NJ, Cicero, Il, and Gary, In, just to name a few of the more sordid ones, now spends most of his time between Venice Beach on Roller Blades, in Big Sur riding bareback (sic) in the surf, and monitoring his
real business, a collection of over 324 head shops, medicinal marijuana dispensaries from San Diego to Petaluma.

"He's really a kind of laid back guy, ' said Stan Fran Cisco, his Facebook friend,
"he's perfect to do the op ed thing for the Spoof. He has a way with the women, so that should draw some more female readership in, especially from Canada, and they simply love him to death in Texas!"

John has contradicted critics who claim his writing style comes from being a strict vegetarian and says "Not True."

In fact, John who enjoys all manner of mind expanding sexual experiences, claims his quote on his sexual preferences were taken out of context.

"All I said was, I can identify with NY Jets Football coach Rex Ryan when his fetish for licking bare feet came out on swinger sites featuring his wife.

All I said was, "He's got good taste, I like Toe Fo too!....It was a joke...the Press....can you believe those people?"

Reached by phone, John said he was busy on his first piece discussing the state of the union, inter galactic travel, Virgin Atlantic, and how to put out the fire in Egypt. He said he expects the piece to be about 25,000 words, not including footnotes.

For those of you who want to get a jump on John's next piece, and his biography, you can download it here: JOHNPEURACHLIVE&INPERSON.

You will need AdobeFlash player and at least 100 more gigs in your hard drive.

Write On John!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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