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Friday, 21 January 2011

image for Crimewatch UK Update Cherie Blair

Crimewatch UK Update

MOST WANTED:

Name: Cameron David William Donald. (Also known as Twinkle, Spoon-in-the-mouth, and The Poseur.

Offence/s:

Endangering the 61,113,205 population of the UK, by scrapping the Nimrod Surveillance Planes, thus leaving them open to terrorist attack by removing the tools to monitor known terrorists air-wave activity.

Threatening the 2.5m officially (4.1 actual) unemployed proletariat population with threats of making them work - Thus causing suicidal tendencies, through imposing undue duress, charged with Negligent homicide.

Defrauding the Lib-Dem Party and its members, the population, and other Nations leaders, by pretending he or any of his party members into thinking they have any minuscule affection for anyone but themselves.

Lying to the voters - too many individual charges on this, to publish, not enough band-width available.

Description:

Good looking chap, tall, distinguished features.

Details:

Raised by rich stock-broker father, educated at private schools including Eton.

Current Prime Minister of the UK.

If this man should approach you, we advise you to hang onto your wallet at all costs, and do not believe a word he says, like "We will not increase the VAT rate", and "The NHS is safe in our hands!

Name: Brown James Gordon.

Offence/s:

The murder of 1,205 British Military personnel in Iraq.

The murder of 349 British Military personnel in Afghanistan.

Causing unnecessary and avertible suffering to the families of those personages.

Lying and defrauding the population of the UK and other Nations leaders, and allowing 51% of hiss MPs to get away with expense fiddling without any charges being brought against them.

Holding an amount of Swiss Bank Accounts beyond the legal limit, in other names.

Lack of space prevent the other charges being listed here.

Description:

God damned ugly, thick matted dark hair. wrinkled features.

Details:

Past Prime Minister of the UK.

The three dogs he's owned have all had to be put down due to injuries.

Nasty temper with underlings.

He was accepted by the University of Edinburgh to study history at the age of 16, and went on to make history, not that the thousands of dead soldiers will ever know that.

Name: Blair, Anthony Charles Lynton.

Offence/s:

The murder of 1,205 British Military personnel in Iraq.

The murder of 349 British Military personnel in Afghanistan.

Causing unnecessary and avertible suffering to the families of those personages.

Being so filthy rich he earns more in interest in a week than I get pension for a year, thus causing great jealousy.

Lying and defrauding the population of the UK and other Nations leaders, and allowing 51% of hiss MPs to get away with expense fiddling without any charges being brought against them.

Description:

Good looking chappie, tall.

Long todger.

Details:

After attending The Chorister School in Durham in north-east England from 1961 to 1966,[16] Blair boarded at Fettes College, a prestigious independent school in Edinburgh in Scotland, during which time he met Lord Charlie Falconer (a pupil at the rival Edinburgh Academy), whom he later appointed Lord Chancellor. He reportedly modelled himself on Mick Jagger, but he did find financial satisfaction, but gave very little satisfaction to others.

Married to millionaire wife Cherie.

Claimed earlier that his decision to kill thousands of our lads was made after consultation with God.

Anyone with any information as to the whereabouts of the above should contact Inspector Lynton at the Spoof Constabulary Crimesquashers in confidence.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
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