Written by anthonyrosania

Print this

Wednesday, 19 January 2011

image for We Live In the Future. Enjoy It

Remember that Qwest commercial? Circa 1999-2000? A guy walks into a diner in the middle of a desert, spots a jukebox in the corner, and asks the owner what's on it.

"Every song ever recorded by every artist, ever."

That commercial made me sh-t a puppy. I could not imagine a future where every song ever recorded is available on a jukebox. In fact, I thought it to be hyperbole.

Fast-forward to 2011. I have access to every song ever recorded, every movie ever filmed, and any tv or radio broadcast ever recorded...

On my f--king cell phone!

Imagine if the 1999 version of me --who was absolutely thrilled to download Metallica MP3s via Napster and my dial-up AOL service, even if it did take 3 to 4 hours-- could see what I spent most of this morning doing?

(It may be alleged that I dropped anchor in a certain Piratebay, where a torrent of bits of information streamed into my computer.)

On a HD screen that I can secure between the base of my thumb and the second knuckle of my middle finger, I am cruising through Rihanna's latest album.

Remembering that she was on Saturday Night Live well before I came to appreciate these songs, I opened my Netflix app, found the episode, and played her live performance (which made me think of Faith No More's appearance on SNL, a video of which I found on Youtube in about 15 seconds.)

Now, we would reject a device that would only give us access to every song ever recorded: Where's the video support, Hulu app or my digital download copy of The Dark Knight??

F--k a personal jet pack or commercial flights to Jupiter; this is exactly the technological nirvana my 30-year-old self would have fantasied about!

We Live In the Future. Enjoy It.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this


Go to top