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Tuesday, 18 January 2011

image for Walter Mitty. The truth at last. Part 1 "This is a sandcastle I built in Blackpool". Walter Mitty

Statement:

I never intended to tell a lie, or make up stories that would change the history of politics and world peace.

I was born, just before world war one, my father was a batmen to General Sir Earl Hague. My dad often had a night cap with Hague and during one of those nights, Hague asked my dad what he would do if Germany declared war on Poland.

My dad, being a man of peace, advised Hague to send a couple of our soldiers over to France in the guise of them having a holiday, and if Villhelm moved into Epres, they could jump up and give the Krauts a scare and send them packing. Of course, Hague ignored my dad, and the great war ended up being history.

When I was ten, I met Churchill, who by then was Prime Minister, my family and I were on a day out at Blenhiem Palace, when up comes this bloke. I'm on the bridge looking at the Pike in the great lake, an this bloke says; "How would you stop the Hun from reaching France?".
I looked at him and said; "Blow up all the bridges". He looks at me an says; "That may be a bridge too far me lad". Course, you know the rest, world war two! If only he had listened.

In the sixties, I was in a Wimpey Bar, when in walks this dapper lookin bloke in a blue suit and dark glasses. He sits down beside me an says: "I think there is someone after me". "Well", I said, "I know its summer, but dont drive around with your roof down if you have a convertable mate". Course, I was not to know it was Kennedy.

In part two, I will continue with my life story. I hope.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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