Written by MonkeyInTheBath
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Monday, 17 January 2011

image for Wikileaks releases Ten Commandments An early pre-internet version of Wikileaks

Today, a remorseful ex-employee of Wikileaks released secret documents about the company to the press.

Journalists are still sifting through the mountain of paper to find out if there is anything interesting. So far the best thing they have found is this list of Ten Commandments which Julian Assange gave to all his employees.

1. Thou shalt kiss the ass of Julian Assange and worship his smarminess.
2. Thou shalt worship no other gods but Assange.
3. Thou shalt not take the name of Assange in vain.
4. Thou shalt remember the Wikileaks website and keep it wholly...online.
5. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Other sexual offences are permitted.
6. Thou shalt not release false documents to thy neighbour, or to Wikileaks.
7. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, unless she is Swedish.
8. Thou shalt not covet anything that belongs to thy neighbour, unless it contains juicy gossip.
9. Thou shalt not kill - but you may release secret documents which lead to the deaths of undercover operatives.
10. Thou shalt not steal - except for private and personal documents with the intention of publishing them online.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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