Written by Inchcock
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Sunday, 16 January 2011

image for Accumulated Advice for the Government Clandestinely obtained advice to follow

Julian Glover - guardian.co.uk
"Do not be horrible to Ed Miliband, you might need him on your way down!

Lousewies van der Laan - Former leader of the Dutch ­Liberal-Democrats.
The Lib-Dem party has been urged to "View its relationship with the Conservatives as if it was a marriage passing from the honeymoon period to the irritation of living together."

Matthew d'Ancona - Daily Telegraph
"The Tories need to be more Michael Palin than Sarah Palin!"

Bruce Forsyth - Entertainer
"Play your cards right!"

Citizens Advice Scotland (CAS)
"To consider whether its strategy of savage public sector cuts is the right one. The victims of our struggling economy are real people."

Legal Advice .Com - Lib-Dem minister Sarah Teather
"Told a recent meeting of the Family and Parenting Institute that the pre-election Tory-proposed 'marriage tax', could be applicable to the Government marriage between the two parties!"

John Harris - guardian.co.uk
"Cameron should ensure he doesn't stick to the south-east in his public meet and greet walkabouts... mind you if he wants to keep his health....."

Astrology with Archie. com
If you're not careful, your own party could split apart - and the reason will be Europe.

You have to put your own interests first, and that means taking an anti-Europe stance - that way you'll keep in touch with your supporters.

If on the other hand you do what comes naturally to you, and you try to maintain the status quo, things will go wrong for you very quickly.

Tory Diary
"Pay tribute to opponents' successes. Don't attack all the time. Attacks will be more effective if they are seasoned."

Strategic Performance Measurement UK
"Be clear whose happiness you are interested in. Actually I think the government should ensure that the police are happy with their role and support, likewise the Health service. I suspect that affects their ability to do their job. Not happiness by paying more, but happiness in terms of conditions and feeling supported in providing the opportunity to catch criminals, and care for people."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this

More by this writer

View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story
View Story

Share/Bookmark

90 readers are online right now!

Go to top