Written by Inchcock
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Wednesday, 12 January 2011

image for ATM - Phone - Seat.... Now wash your hands! More Germs In Parliament than Public Toilets

As reported in the Daily Telegraph (11th Jan 2011), Cash machines, chairs/seats, and keypads were found to be contaminated with unwanted bacteria, to a level higher than found in public toilets.

Pseudomonades, and bacillus, bacteria which are known to cause sickness, diarrhoea, and cancers, were found on tests carried out on ATMs, Door code-pads, and public transport seating, to a high and dangerous level of contamination.

Our reporter presented these facts to the Minister of State for Health, Simon Burns MP. Who said he would look into the facts, and arrange for a sub-committee to be proposed to be formed to assess the risk level, then draw up a green-paper for consideration for forwarding for a review council preponderance after acceptance by the Government Finance Committee Monthly meeting qualification status is attained.

Our Spoof reporter, carried out some investigations himself into the risk to the Cabinet members and MPs in Parliament.

His reports revealed that within the Houses of Parliament, there is currently:

14,983 Chairs
814 Easy chairs
658 Swivel chairs
3,834 Mobile Phones
689 Gents toilets
301 Female toilets
85004 Code-pads

Using figures for the average level of contamination as supplied by the Daily Telegraph, it shows that at the moment there are approximately 5,110,856,647 unwanted germs in Parliament.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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