Written by birbee
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Tuesday, 11 January 2011

image for Snowman Decides to Emigrate Somewhere, Over the Rainbow.............

A snowman, built during the recent period of extremely unseasonal weather, has decided that he has had enough and is emigrating to pastures new.

The nameless snowman, a full eight feet tall when first created, has only survived due to the fact that he was built in a shaded corner of a field and had a liquid nitrogen filled carrot inserted in the middle of his face as a nose.

Being in a shady corner has it's benefits for snowmen, but also has it's downfalls and the snowman, who we shall cheesily call Frosty, soon found out.

Due to it's location and lower temperature, no one came to visit Frosty, with the exception of the occasional drunk on a Saturday night on his way home from The Gamecock pub, and they rarely said anything coherent to Frosty, merely creating a twisted set of legs with their calls of nature.

It was because of these drunkenly fashioned limbs that Frosty, when he finally decided to make his move, walked with a pronounced limp.

It was hard for Frosty to get a passport for his journey, not only as he did not have a name, but also as he was made from snow and the carrot nose was not deemed suitable for the regulation photograph.

In the end, he decided to stow away on a merchant navy ship. The ship that he finally managed to secrete himself onto turned out to be manned fully with Russian sailors who did not speak a word of English. Fortunately the ship was transporting frozen rapeseed oil from Sussex and Frosty was able to make a snug hide-away in the coldstore.

Unfortunately, the ship was bound for Bahrain, where the climate is not totally conducive to the genetic make up of a snowman, Bahrain having a desert and Frosty being made out of snow.

Frosty managed to make it as far as the edge of Manama with only the upper part of his torso and two-thirds of a head remaining intact and very soon after became the largest natural water pool in the country.

All that now remains is the carrot that made up his nose, left as a gruesome reminder to any other snowmen that may be contemplating the long and arduous journey to a 'better' life.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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