Conversation overheard between two retired gentlemen in a pub:
"So - what you been up to lately then? I mean, like, since I last saw yer?"
"Been spoofin' mate."
"Spoofin' - on the puter."
"What's that then?"
"Wotchemacallit - spoofin' Wot's that then?"
"Well...it's like a newspaper on the puter. Except it's all lies. "
"What's the point of that then?"
"Well - you got your proper news, then you got your Spoof news. Wiv yer Spoof news, me and the other folks write it. It's like real news, but we make a joke out of it."
"Cause it's a bit o' fun."
"I see...so how did you find this Spoof thing then?"
"On the puter. I'm not one for technology, as yer know, but wot 'appened woz, the Dragon, she'd been buyin' stuff on He-Bay - load o' shite really, a shaver you can use under water in the swimmin' baths. An' it's only the size of a matchbox. Anyway, she'd left the puter on, so I went and had a quick butchers at it. First time I ever used a puter. Them's dead amazin' - all that stuff in a little tiny box..."
"So wot 'appened then?"
"Well - there was this box thing on the TV puter screen, an' it said 'search.' Apparently, the puter people have got this bloke name of Google workin' for 'em."
"Google? Wot sort of a name's that then?"
"I dunno. Thought it was a bit off, meself - probably a nickname or summink...but anyway, he's bloody good, this Google bloke. You types wot you're lookin' for in the box, click the button, an' this Google bloke sends you a list. I don't know what they pays him, but he's got to be worth at least double."
"So wot did you search for then?"
"I typed in 'Make Me Larf' an' it come up wiv this website called TheSpoof.com So I had a look at it."
"Did it what?"
"Did it make you larf?"
"Some of it did, yerse. Acourse it did. But see, as what it was me first time on the interweb.fishnet or wotevvah - I thought I'd best 'ave a look and see wot it wuz all abaht. Innit."
"An' was it?"
"Was it what?"
"Was it abaht summink?"
"Oh, yerse. It was abaht summink."
"Well, me old mucker - they had a lot of stories about the stars orf the telly, and the footballers an' that. And loads of exclusives abaht detectives, and yer politician types - like about they're all liars and ippocrites. Wiv their dodgy expense accarnts an' that. Not to mention some stuff wot gets a bit near the knuckle. Stuff like that."
"And was it funny? This website fing? Did it work for you?"
"It's hilarious mate. See, sooner or later, everyfing comes aht, and the spoof tells yer all about it. They got millions of these stories... these exposes like..."
"And that's funny? How does that work ven, if it's all a pack o' blinkin' lies to start wiv?"
"Nah - you're missing the point mate."
"We can make it up as we go along. I read all these news stories and then it said that you can join as a writer and become an overnight success by writin' a loada bleedin' lies - so I signed up. Dead easy it was. I wrote me first story about this gangster geezer who wasn't really a gangster hidin' behind a wheelie bin in Neasden coz folk wouldn't leave 'im alone."
"Who was that then?"
"What do you mean, 'who was that?' It wasn't nobody - I made it orl right up aht me 'ead."
"So wot wuz this bloke's name then?"
"Arfur Pewty - nicked the name aht of a Monty Python sketch wiv Sarah Palin"
"Wot? Surely yer means Michael Palin."
"Oh yerse. Vat wuz 'im. Bloke wot went rahnd the world on a camel. It don't really matter though. Coz none if it's true anyway."
"So, where's the fun in that then? I mean...wot's the point?"
"That's the beauty of it. There is no point. But you can monitor your progress, your ratin's an' all that, and if you're lucky, you even gets fans on your page. Pops up in little pictures like. Nah there is them wot sez it's really just a treadmill, but at least it's thought provokin' and the people on there, they communicates wiv proper words - none of that textin' lol and rofl and bladdy kewl malarkey. Arskin yer wimmin if they're 'ot or wot. Nah, vat's crap."
"It sounds orl right ter me mate - the more I thinks abaht it."
"You oughter give it a go mate. But be a bit careful, like cause it can get a bit addictive. Like drugs and stuff. And pie 'n' mash."
" Yerse - I finks I shall 'ave a look at that. Use yer own name do yer? When yer writes yer lies and huntruths like?"
"Nah - yer uses a noddy flume. "
"You mean like an alias or a nickname or summink? Wot's your noddy flume then?"
"Calls meself Pig Of The Dump, I does. Suits me vat. 'Er indoors is always sayin' vat the harse is a dump and that I'm a right pig!"
"Hmmm...suppose I could call meself Dave From Dahn The Pub By The Gasworks. "
"Wot Gasworks? We ain't 'ad a bleedin' gasworks rahnd here for donkey's years. Vey closed it dahn when vey dun away wiv the steam trains an' the blinkin' docks."
"Yerse, but we used to 'ave a blinkin' gasworks, on Bethesda Street dahn by the railway sidings. And you did say, by yer own hadmission, that this Spoof thing is orl lies, so it can't hurt much tellin' a little white porky wiv me monicker can it..."
"Nah, suppose not. Don't really fink anybody'd notice anyway."
"Yer know, the more I thinks abaht vis Spoofin' idea, the more it sort of appeals to me. The wife always said I was an incontinent liar. Ave bin orl me life apparently - so I s'ppose I might as well put it to good use."
"Exactly - so give it a go. Can't hurt can it?"
"Yer know what - I finks I will 'ave a go at this spoofin' lark. Sounds like it might be a right good larf! Fancy anuvver pint mate?"