Many people have wondered what happened to Mary Poppins at the end of her eponymous film. Well, wonder no longer, because TheSpoof has tracked her down and interviewed her exclusively.
Ms Poppins, now aged 63, is living in India and runs a detox centre for whoever can afford the very steep fees. She offers everything from colonic irrigation to cups of tea to flush out the toxins, but always with a spoonful of sugar.
Most of today's clients are having a colonic. As Ms Poppins said, "Who needs friends when you have enemas."
Enemas of many different substances are available. Some are warm water, some coffee, but some are made of soup. Various vegetable soups are offered, and one particularly popular soup contains the extracts of frogs that have been imported all the way from California. The extract is said to induce orgasm.
Ms Poppins explained. "A soup of Cali frogs is bliss, like sex pills in our douches."