Written by Lady Godiva
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Thursday, 6 January 2011

image for 40 000 dead crabs washed up in Kent Prepare to meet thy doom

40 000 dead crabs washed up in Kent Bizarre!

Dead sea creatures in their thousands are washing up on beaches all over the world. Birds are falling from the sky. What's even MORE bizarre is that people are actually going around 'counting' them and it's believed they are 'rounding the numbers to the nearest l00'. Most of the public are asking for 'accurate' counts, just like in an election.

Some religious groups say it is a sign that the end of the world IS nigh and are preparing to meet their maker. This involves saying goodbye to friends and family who do not have the same religious beliefs as God's chosen and therefore will not be with them in the 'after life'.

But, just in case they are wrong, they will not be giving up their day jobs or giving a way their worldy possessions. After all, God is allowed to change his mind. He has done so many times before.

Bookies are taking bets on which creatures will meet their doom next and where.


Puffins off the Scottish coast 5/1

Winkles off the coast of Robin Hood's Bay 7/1

Cod off the coast of Whitby 4/1

Budgies in every living room in Britain 8/1

Rats in London sewers 2/1

Pigeons in Leicester Square London 5/1


Morrisons sale this week: Crabcakes 15% off

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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