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Tuesday, 4 January 2011

image for 'Narcocorridos'- Dramatic Ditties Describing Dastardly Drug Cartel Doings Dumped And Deposed Dead Desparados

As though things weren't bad enough in Mexico with the war between the Army and the drug cartels, the drug dealers make up songs to glorify themselves.

Known as 'narcocorridos', these ditties attempt to give honor and substance to their lives of narcotic running and selling (see the October issue of National Geographic).

The songs were invented to give their sordid lives a higher, though self-delusional purpose. There is little real glory to the manufacture of substances whose only purpose is to create an addiction that can be exploited for big financial gains.

Of course, you must give them credit, it is hard to come up with tunes that can make beheadings, torture, murder, greed, kidnapping and terrorizing entire populations of normal citizens look glorious. But they give it their best.

Of course, all this fantasizing and singing about how great and holy it is to be a total degenerate brings about another need- the need to create a narcocorrido that really tells it like it is in all its grim reality, such as we have provided below:


NARCO HOMBRES
(Sing to the tune of any melody you fancy)

Narco hombres are we
we are as grand as men can be
we feel happiest and free
when we're out on a killing spree
for us there are no if, ands or maybes
we'll kill mothers, invalids or babies.
Yes, narco hombres are we.
We'll kill anything that we see
There is no end
to the laws we will bend.
Or the bloodshed we will cause to be.

Narco hombres are we
creating mayhem is our greatest glee
We're on the road to being wealthy
so if you want to stay healthy
don't get in our way
better in your homes to stay
though even there is not safe
a stray bullet might strafe
and bring a bad end to your day.

With the Army we will shoot it out
they want badly us to boot out
but it is really just an escapade
so they can take over our trade.
So we shoot and torture and maim,
we have our profits to maintain.
If you want to get ahead in this work
you can't run around like a jerk.
Be quick, ruthless and rowdy
or YOUR head will be minus a body!

We're narco hombres supreme
to get rich is our greatest dream
the desire for profits from drugs
makes us willing to be murderous thugs
we'll deliver the stash
for a large pile of cash
and use any tactic rough or brash.
Our message is simple and clear:
"We are the Merchants of Fear!
We rule the city,
don't expect any pity."

In the city of Meoqui
where all the cops had learned to flee
no one would take their job out of fear
because they knew they would disappear.
A 21 year old girl became sheriff
We put on her head a big tariff
For this she had a lot of guts
now they are scattered all over the street ruts.
It takes a real man a young woman to shoot
and the mother of a new baby to boot.
Of course the real truth of our fun
is that we are cowards hiding behind guns.

Life is for the grabbing of things
and all of the broads that it brings.
We'll spend our gain on lavish flings
and all of the necessary blings
until life around our way brings
the fate that ultimately stings.
It brings us the karma
that is the cause of our dharma
and we end up corpses ourselves
with a first class ticket to Hell.

WRITERS ADDITIONAL NOTE: Ford Motor Company and Subway sandwiches have sponsored a reality show about narcocorridos writers and Sony has signed up a narco musical group to do six albums. Don't large corporations have enough of a bad reputation already? The definition of the word 'whore' needs to be expanded to include more than just loose women.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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