Written by anthonyrosania

Print this
Tags: Shopping

Monday, 3 January 2011

image for Dear Bradlees: Your Store In Hazlet, NJ Has Terrible Hours Of Operation.

Dear Bradlees:

I am writing to complain about the Bradlees department store in Hazlet, NJ, on Route 38 and Poole Road.

Will someone explain to me...
Why the marquee sign for a Bradlees which closed in 2001 is still illuminated? Who's paying for this? If I'm 10 days late paying my electric bill, JCP&L are here ripping copper wiring out of my junction box, but the f--king Bradlees sign remains lit?

Every single time I go there, it is closed. In fact, today I went by and the driveway wasn't even plowed.

I was in desperate need for an inexpensive, poorly-assembled electric can opener, the kind I know that I can find at Bradlees. Instead, I was forced to buy one at Quick-Chek. I don't have to tell you that shopping for home appliances at a convenience store led me to pay $145.99 for a can opener with 1/2" of dust on its packaging.

If you expect to continue to operate in this vicinity, I strongly suggest you revisit your Hazlet store's hours of operation.

If this continues, I will have no choice but to take my shopping dollars to Caldor or Value City.


Anthony Rosania
Keyport, NJ

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!
Print this


Go to top