Inchcock Chambers - Spoofer, reporter, and decrepit unemployed, uneducated, undisciplined, lonely, incredibly ugly, pot bellied and unrefined elderly miscreant from Nottingham (Highest gun crime in the UK outside of London), would like to present his recipe for his own culinary creation called Putrid Party Political Pie.
He hopes this in depth explanatory recipe will clarify the reason for the bad taste the concoction leaves in the mouth. In the ingredients he explains the flavour given to the dish by the more important flavourings.
Cameron Cream - nepotistic in the extreme, with two egos - VAT 69 is his favourite tipple, so increased the dosage.
Leg of Clegg - Disjointed, buttered, and well knifed. Mixes well with other seasoning to produce a little powerful tang. It can produce a sour taste in other foods when mixed.
Beef - from a (Nicholas) Herd, A Taurus, so watch for
contamination from a load of bull.
(Jeremy) Browne sauce - spread Liberaly, it will enthuse well with the leg of Clegg, ensuring a self satisfying content flavour of 'Ainwegoodnow' smokescreen and aroma.
Bread - (Norman) Baker choice, spliced.. I mean sliced.
William Hague - Just a vague hint of dual-flavour here. Can be boned beforehand, goes with any other flavouring.
Merged Meat - Any odds and ends you have left over from proper meals.
None Optional Extras:
Fiddled expense claim forms, use Liberally throughout the whole process.
1) Wash away all the deception first, and untangle the Cameron Cream from the Leg of Clegg.
2) Mix all the ingredients in a stained, greedy and dishonest Bowl of Parliament. (Try not get any deception on your hands, as this can contaminate any member of proletariat fingers if they try to get their fingers in the pie).
3) Add the tears of the unemployed, workers, Labour Party members, with a hint of Bankers bonus liquid to the mix.
4) Allow the fermenting crook... er crock pot to stew for a while - stirring as often as you can with a BNP, Bank Manager, Humanitarian or EDL utensil.
5) Fiddle about with the expense claim forms, then drop them into the crime... grime... er..gruel to be forgotten forever.
6) When the mixture is truly sickening to smell, it will be ready for consumption by the British public.