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Thursday, 30 December 2010

image for 'Introducing Wikisquirts' Found: The teenage diaries of Amy Winehouse INTRODUCING WIKISQUIRTS!!!

Recent news organizations are reporting that the teenage diary of Amy Winehouse has been found. Purportedly the diary was found in a 'rubbish bin' outside of the Georgian country house on the Norfolk-Suffolk borders, Ellingham Hall, where Julian Assange is currently spending his "house arrest" attending orgies and cock fights.

Interestingly enough the diary has been "leaked" by Wikileaks of which Mr. Assange has no clue as to how that happened.

Meanwhile the leaks from the as yet validated diary only shine positive entries from a then 17 year old Ms. Winehouse (I believe she went by her birth name Gwendolyn Hermione Wolverhampton at that time). Entries such as "get teeth fixed", "buy car", get "treadmill" all seem harmless and lets face it 'normal' requests of the average 17 year old.

However, because of my unique sources in the UK I have been able to find out that Wikileaks is hanging onto some of the juiciest entries in order to blackmail… I mean reserve for later release. My sources have been able to 'milk' those entries from Wikileaks of which I am in a position to share with you now. In the future I will be calling these types of releases "Wikisquirts". Here are the additional entries I've uncovered:

--"get two headed black dildo" my bastard father will freak when he finds THAT in my underwear drawer the fucking pervert.

--"ask Dex if he'll shit in a box and send it to that whore Anastasia if I agree to blow him after football practice"

--"dip my science paper in my own menstrual blood and hand it into Ms. McKiddle that fucking spinster cunt"

--"color my pubes red, white and blue"

--"check that - color my armpit hair red, white and blue and shave pubes"

--"tell Dex to piss in the box too"

--"give the first boy I see today a good 'rogering'"

More 'squirts' will follow I'm sure but for now in case you were wondering it appears Ms. Winehouse has been a filthy slut since at least middle teens. Good info I know.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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