Welcome, to our monthly chat from your Godmother,
Don Everard Farquaharson.
Hello Loves, and what a month it has been!
It all started down the left side, from me hip, right through to me ankle! I don't mind telling you, I could swing for that doctor.
Anyway, I was getting ready for bed, just had me glass of wincarniss, and put me face pack on, when there's a bang on the front door! I thought, who the hell can that be at half past eight in the evening?
So, I opens the door, and who's standing there? Slack (The Hatchet) Alice, She's all over the place, arms doing a fandango, telling me that the Bronx mob are fighting again!
Well, I said I am not coming out this time of night, with me face on to sort that bunch of rabble out! (The muck on this type writer} So Slack starts to cry, and I can't abide snotty noses on me shag pile. So I put me gown on, and me slippers and off we went to the Bronx.
When we gets to the club, I walk in and Pop it in Pete, the Assassin, is screaming at Lilo Lil, the hijacker, that it's all off, and he's to move out. Course, Everhard, the enforcer, is standing between them, as limp as a lettuce, cos he can't stand shouting.
I walked straight up to Pop it in Pete and smacked his face, stopped him in his tracks! I said it's the last bludy time they drink that fortified wine we stole from the airport.
Every time they have a bottle of that, it starts. Anyway, before I left, Pete and Lilo had made up and Everhard had come too, with the help of a brandy snap.
Slack Alice locked up, I went off to my bed.
It's hard, sometimes, being the boss. Hey Ho!
See you next month.