After studying the stars, especially Elizabeth Taylor and Marylyn Monroe and using my special powers to see into the future I can announce my Official Predictions for 2011.
After divorcing Prince Charles, who decides against Camilla being known as Queen Camilla, the Duchess of Cornwall marries Royal Favourite Prince Andrew. As they have both been divorced (Camilla twice) special dispensation is required for the marriage to take place in Westminster Abbey.
Prince Charles marries Sarah Ferguson. As both Charles and Fergie are divorced special dispensation is required for the marriage to take place in Westminster Abbey.
William & Kate agree to postpone their marriage so it does not take the glory away from the other Royal marriages.
Princess Anne falls off her horse and breaks her neck - the Horse has to destroyed but Anne is ready for the next ride.
Nearing her century the Queen is appointed Australia's cricket captain.
Avram Grant, after seeing West Ham win the Premiership title, is appointed England Manager.
David Cameron sends a plea to Gordon Brown - 'Come back, old friend and sort out this mess before we have a revolution.'
Brown responds by asking 'Who told this bigot to contact me?'
Nick Clegg decides to run for the vacant position of Mayor of London, after Boris is caught in the congestion zone without paying.