Twas the mouse before Christmas and all through the night,
spoof writers keyboards seized up in mid-type
cos the men were all sozzled and totally half-baked
while the ladies grew randy and threw out the cake
So while I can still see and somewhat spell
Merry Whatever to all and Bingle Jell - hic
Sssssh....sharing a shecret repice sent by besht fren'- recshipe creator name unknown, thanksh:
How to cake the pref...pert.. oh WTF pefrect Kissmas fried druit bake
flour, butter, water, baking shoda, sssssalt, ssshhugar, lemon juice, eggs, nuts, fried druit
2 bottles wine
Open 1st bottle of wine to check quality. Sample 1 cup. Test it again
Take a large bowl, check the wine again.
To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer.
Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one pound..no..one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
Make sure the wine is still OK. Open 2nd bottle. Try another cup... Just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Ssssssh..Crack your head on the cabinet, er.. crack your eggs in the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off floor. Help....I'm blind, I can't see....OK, I'm OK. Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a schew...skr..drewscriver.
Shample the wine to check for tonitis, tonticsus, tonsisticity. Next, throw two cups of salt over shoulder.
Or something. Check the wine. Now shift the lemon juice.
Strain your nuts.
Add one table. Throw in a spoon of sugar, or some fink. Whatever you can find. Oooops...where's the spoon in the bitter, better.. er, batter???? Hic, sssshh
Greash the oven set it 4000000000000000 ...oooops take figner off keyboarrdddd. Turn the cake tin 36000000000 degreesh and try not to fall over. Why, I dunno why...jesh cos..
Don't forget to beat off the turnerer.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe counter with the cat.
Go to drug ssshtore and buy bake...hic...cake.