The Subo fanatics, who successfully invaded The Priory Clinic are preparing for a very 'Subo Christmas'.
Fruitcakes (the baked typed - not the fanatics themselves) are being baked by the dozen. These are special Susancakes and the recipe includes irn bru, crushed crisps and only RED cherries.
More 'flat-Susans' are being delivered and will, eventually, out-number the real people residing at The Priory.
Special cocktails have been invented which include:
Piersy Baby Blues
Simon's Surreal Eggnog
Red, Red, Red, Red, Red
Susan Screwdriver (only avaiabled in the 'virgin' form)to name but a few.
Husbands of American fanatics are being handcuffed and frog-marched to airports all over the US of A where they will be loaded on board private jets and flown to The Priory to 'enjoy' the holidays with their darling wives and will be re-united with their credit cards on Boxing Day, as a special treat, but only for a period of 24 hours.
Tartan kilts and festive red scarves are awaiting the husbands, most of whom were lead kicking and screaming to the airports, crying out for their mothers and pleading with airport officials, offering bribes to let them go home.
The airport officials merely laughed in their faces, and one commented,
"Dozy guys! They deserve all they get. By the looks of them, they BELONG in The Priory Clinic. Who in their 'right' minds would have put up with those red scarf-wearing biddies for this long?"
When reminded that these 'biddies' spent the majority of their time flying around the world stalking Susan, spending their husbands' money, the offical took back what he had just said, realizing that the husbands had, indeed, been living the life of Riley, doing whatever they fancied, with these loonies doing so much travelling leaving them Home Alone.
The outside of The Priory has been decorated for the season with red lights and red plastic bows attached to outside walls and inflatable Susan's covering the lawns.
The Christmas Day meal will, of course, be haggis followed by fish and chips.
More as we get it.