The North Korean leader has emailed such an angry letter to the editors of The Spoof! that we feel compelled to post it– literally. We think.
Kim has threatened, best we can discern from the language in the (not included) email, to throw his ‘missile’ to the West if we fail to respond by a certain unreadable (possibly past) date. We remain confused if his interpreter, Big (apparently a towering 5’9”) Kim, actually meant a missal, a Roman Catholic book of prayer and hymns, or possibly missive, in which case it may be THIS letter about which he referred.
The email used all three spellings, each preceded by 'shoot' or 'blast' or other such terms. But if it is a prayer book, much less a letter, we fail to see how that can be a real threat, having been thrown 'Westward.' In addition, we fail to see how he could locate us.
We became so thoroughly addled that we decided, nevertheless, to give it a pass, detach and post the letter and hope for the best. We leave it up to our readers to decide, in the name of professional journalism.
To the World of Spoof,
I was reading joke about me. Not funny to me. We in Korea are leaders in same as Rice and think a prejudice is there about my people and, special, me the Dear Leader. First to note, I am not "Li’L" person. I am at great height when I speak down to my people. You see me waving down to them, all times. This is proof of my great height over them. You see this?
I demand apology for fact error. Remove "Li’L" from title forthcoming.
Also I was person to originator of "Kim Cross" and Colbert person and all others in world fact-based copy. I will seek a patent in world, thus persons in world crossing arms will due to me large fine.
Not to follow my command will cause great harm, which you have witnessed to be sent to many Westwards. We will call you "Grossest" and "Giant Uglies" and make much trouble, boomings that speak loud in the world and humble you. These have power to cause world to see me in true light as true world leader. I make these words for you to see, these will be sent for the world, Westward special.
Be always humble, be always truthful, we say.
The Dear Leader