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Saturday, 18 December 2010

Entertainment World this Week by famed columnist Helon Kokaine at the "Hollywood Rehab Times"

Demi Lovato: Disney breathed a sigh of relief this weekend when sources close to Demi Lovato said her racy photos are not lesbian but pictures of her transsexual friends.

Hollywood got all excited this week by the news that John Travolta will finally star in the long-awaited sequel to Grease. The film will be called "Lube". Set in a LA sauna, Travolta says it offers a penetrating insight into the sweaty world of dirty dancing on all-fours.

Selena Gomez : Following their date at a pancake house, wicked witch Selena Gomez is rumored to have used her magic wand to change the ever-innocent - my shit don't smell - Justin Bieber into her sex slave.

Miley Cyrus :On Tueday, Miley Cyrus announced that she is having her butt caste in plastic in order to create a new range of men-size Disney pillows for the new year.

Miley is also set to release of her re-make of Chantilly Lace, with the words "with a wiggle in the walk and giggle in the talk, there aint nothing like a bong to make the world go round, makes me feel so funny, makes me bend my bunny and so I feel so loose like a long necked goose, ah bongy, that's what I want!"


In politics this week

Santas rioted in London demanding ch-47 Chinook helicopters, while over in the US Sarah Palin,citing his red clothes as evidence, denoucned Santa Claus as a communist, and said kids should pay for their presents or face imprisonment.

Assange gets gives up Wikileaks, changes his nationality to Comanche and is now working as a cashier in a reservation casino.


In other news:

The mysterious hidden letter and number codes in Mona Lisa's eyes suggest she was probably working the Vegas tables.

In Asia, Buddha finally farted and Tibet has fallen into Nepal.

Self-righteous, sanctimonious, vainglorious, anti-porn, mighty moral, Apple crusader Steve Jobs has denounced the Pope as a pinky-liberal pussy fagot. Following the controversial gay dispute on iPod there are rumors that Steve Jobs is about to start his own religion - He believes Apple is reincarnation of the biblical fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil and that the Book of Job was written for him.

Finally a word from our sponsors, "Die Smiling Holidays" -"Looking for a hot Xmas break? Want a riot of a time? Try London, Rome or Athens - all of them are burning and the streets are all lit-up"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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